Tbh I’m so sad and lonely. I really feel like I’ve lost myself – almost like I’ve disappeared as my mind is forced to keep on existing. Idk. I’m so stupid. I want to cut so much but I went way too far last time and I just can’t risk it. I just want a friend right now but I really haven’t had any for some years and you don’t make a bestie level friend overnight.

I’m being kinda forced into sobriety now too. I can still OD on valerian root but I’m out of bud and too scared to get more. I just want to turn off but I’m so sad I can’t even sleep.